By Brakemi Tiemo Peace
Many years ago, I use to have a friend who thinks that the world revolves around social media. She prefers posting on social media rather than doing house chores and studying. Due to the way she speaks around me, I started seeing the world differently. I usually compare myself to other public figures and celebrities, how they appear on social media seems almost perfect. And I begin to question myself: Why can’t I be like these people? Why can’t I have the things these people have? My whole perception changed totally as I began questioning myself.
Social media today significantly influences young people’s behavior and mentality in both positive and negative ways. Many young people use the media platforms to learn new skills, look for job opportunities, and engage in social issues. The negative side can contribute to cyberbullying, comparison, and the pressure to appear perfect on the internet space. Social media has affected how people think, act, feel, and see themselves. It can also lead to addiction, less focus on studies, and exposure to some harmful contents. It can be both harmful and helpful depending on how it is used.
Self perception is how we see ourselves and frequent exposure to some contents on social media can change our thoughts on how we see ourselves. Exposure to images online can make people develop unrealistic expectations and ideas about their own appearance and their achievements in life.
Life can’t be perfect and as individuals, we tend to see someone living a life that seems perfect and assume that their lives are already perfect. But in reality, if you dig deeper into those people’s lives they may be living a fake life on the internet. You may be completely oblivious of what is happening in their lives behind close doors. You may come across a couple who appears to be happy on the internet and start comparing yourself to them and how you lack a good partner. But we have a way of knowing if they are truly happy offline. After a while you might see the lady coming out to say that her husband hits her and maltreats her and you begin to wonder…. Were these not the same couple that lived the perfect life online? Weren’t they happy online, so what happened now? This is to say that you should not believe everything you see on the internet space.
In some cases, others might body shame other people, but they can edit and enhance the beauty of the photos they post online without saying a single word. Even those who bully others for their appearances, in reality, are no different from those who they bully. You see them pick carefully selected pictures and edit them and post them online. Some of those who body shame people for having a bad shape have even gone through surgical procedures just to enhance their own body shape. Most of them walk around Lagos and Abuja carrying over sized shapes and body. You may also see a lady that encourages these surgical procedures known as BBL whereas they won’t tell you about the after effect of that surgery. That it worked for others does not mean it is going to work for you. That’s why you see people having complications after going through different surgical procedures in order to enhance their body shapes.
I often see and hear people who explain their depression or poor body image due to posts they see online, be it from friends or social media influencers. Yet these people continue to spend countless hours on social media comparing themselves and judging others even without realizing it. That one person who seems to have a perfect life and no flaws as he or she portrayed, may be suffering behind the scenes in ways no one could ever imagine. By reducing the time we spend on social media, we can be able to differentiate between the real versus fake experiences. Instead of comparing yourselves to unrealistic things on social media, why not focus on ways that can lead one to a healthy relationship on social media without having to compare yourself with unrealistic expectations?
Although Social media discourages one’s self worth through social anxiety and unrealistic expectations. These factors pertain to people who have low self esteem or envy. Self perception depends on the individual. Social media does not impact all people. There are some people who appreciate themselves for who they are and do not desire attention online. People who have high self esteem are more likely to perceive themselves positively and focus more on the capabilities of what their body can do than on their outward appearance. One of the ways people present themselves on social media is honest posting. People who provide honest posting do not care about online validation, likes or followers. People who have love within themselves do not let social media have an impact on their outward appearance.
In Most studies shown on the effects of social media, the worst outcomes in terms of negative feelings were more associated with the amount of time one spends online. In order to minimize social comparison, individuals should limit the amount of time they spend on social media. A few other things people can do are:
Be Aware Of Your Triggers
Take note of those posts that makes you feel inadequate and less of yourself and start the comparison trap. Also consider unfollowing those people. Avoid contents or images that could tend to lower your self esteem. It’s about identifying the contents or interactions that can provoke a negative or physical response like anxiety or anger.
Remember Not Everything Is Real
Remind yourself that not everything you see on the internet space appears to be real. There are so many unrealistic expectations and images out there. Do not compare someone’s outside to your inside. Those posts are designed mainly to get attention from people, not everything appears to be real.
Express Appreciation
Focus on what you have in your life instead of what you do not. Be grateful for the little things and happy moments. Appreciate yourself. Look in the mirror and be grateful for your appearance. Acknowledging what you have can help minimize comparison.
Post What You Want
At the end of the day, it is your account. You can choose to post whatever it is you want to post. Nobody should dictate how you represent yourself. Share happy moments with friends and families not being mindful of what anyone would say. Do not let fear and judgement determine what you choose to post.
In Conclusion, Social Media Will always show us the filtered version of reality. But when we stop comparing ourselves to people we see online, the app loses its power to control us or make us feel less adequate. Take quick breaks from the social media from time to time if you need to. Don’t get distracted by what you see and be distracted with what you do for yourself instead of maintaining a balance of what you do and how you appear on social media. Keep motivating yourself with the goals you want to achieve in life. Always focus on the real life you’re living, that way, we would be able to break from the comparison trap. True self worth is not found behind the screen but in the real world.
...Brakemi Tiemo Peace is a student at the department of Journalism and Media Studies, Delta State University, Abraka, South South, Nigeria. NNL.