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By Funke Egbemode

I love watching the musical video of Asake’s Joha. There’s just something about it that makes me smile, cheers me up even. I still can’t place a finger on it. Maybe it’s the dance steps, the moves. But this is not a review of musical videos. It is actually about brides, today’s brides dancing as if they are auditioning for musical videos. As if it is not bad enough that they have their breasts in the faces of the wedding guests, they dance as if they are performing for a concert audience with the ‘family jewels’ jiggling so ferociously people like me fear they will pop out of their corsets and embarrass cringing decency. The groom’s men openly ogle their best friend’s private property. The lecherous old men leer and smack their lips while pretending to act fatherly. Is it their fault? Window shopping is free from here to Australia. The brides are providing it and everybody is enjoying it.

Opinion News Nigeria

By Funke Egbemode

If largeness of breasts and flatness of stomach is what floats your boat, then Floxy is right up your alley. She is cutely curvaceous, knows it and takes full advantage of it. Not that she is a bimbo whose only unique selling point is her body, no. She is actually a brilliant business executive. Just that there is something about her that makes her unapproachable, at least by young struggling guys. She is more mature, wiser and more focused than her age. She is north of 30 by the way but she has in the last two years accomplished a lot, plenty of thanks to her wily, single-minded new approach to life. Ask her why young single men are no longer part of her vision and she’d tell you she’d had enough of them to last half a lifetime. For now, she loves them married. It’s either the man is married or she would not dignify him with even a breakfast date. Does she want to be a second or third wife or a mistress for life? No, she just finds the married men’s encumbrances useful to her cause and the single men’s blatant uncreative lies unattractive.

Opinion News Nigeria
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