By Matt Abraham
Shaky voice. Sweaty palms. Red face. Memory loss. Stuttering.
If you have experienced at least one of these symptoms when having to give a spur-of-the-moment answer or speech, this book is for you. In this book, Matt Abrahams provides tangible, actionable skills to help even the most anxious of speakers “Think Faster” and “Talk Smarter” when speaking spontaneously. Abrahams provides science-based strategies for managing anxiety, responding to the mood of the room, and making content concise, relevant, compelling, and memorable. Here are some masterclass takeaways from the book:
Prepare for the unexpected. Abrahams advises us to anticipate the types of questions, topics, and scenarios we might encounter in different contexts, and to practice our responses using various techniques, such as Aide-Memoires, game playing, and improvising. By doing so, we can reduce our anxiety and increase our readiness for any situation.
Connect with your audience. The author emphasizes the importance of establishing rapport and trust with our listeners, whether they are one or many. He suggests that we avoid conventional responses, such as “How are you?” or “Thank you for your time”, and instead use more personalized and authentic expressions, such as “What are you excited about today?” or “I appreciate your curiosity and engagement”. He also encourages us to use stories, metaphors, and analogies to make our messages more memorable and relatable.
Be brief and relevant. Beware of rambling, digressing, or overloading our audience with too much information. Abrahams advises us to prioritize the most important and relevant points, and to use simple and clear language. He also provides us with useful frameworks, such as PREP (Point, Reason, Example, Point) and STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result), to help us structure our thoughts logically and concisely.
Embrace your imperfections. Prioritize connection, not perfection. “There is no right way to communicate. There are better ways and worse ways, but there is no one right way. And when we put that pressure on ourselves to do it right, we actually reduce the likelihood that we’ll do it well at all. Abrahams reassures us that we don’t have to be perfect or flawless when we speak spontaneously. He argues that our mistakes and vulnerabilities can actually make us more human and likable, as long as we acknowledge and correct them gracefully. He also urges us to avoid the pressure to be witty or clever, and to dare to be dull instead. He reminds us that our goal is not to impress or entertain, but to inform and persuade.
Listen actively and empathetically. Abrahams stresses the importance of listening to understand and respond effectively to our audience’s needs, interests, and concerns. He teaches us how to use open-ended questions, paraphrasing, and mirroring to demonstrate our attention and curiosity. He also shows us how to use empathy and validation to acknowledge and respect our audience’s emotions and perspectives, even if we disagree with them.
Adapt to the situation. Abrahams acknowledges that every spontaneous speaking situation is different and dynamic, and that we need to be flexible and adaptable to the changing circumstances. He advises us to pay attention to the mood, tone, and expectations of our audience, and to adjust our style, content, and delivery accordingly. He also encourages us to use feedback, both verbal and nonverbal, to gauge our audience’s reactions and to modify our approach if needed.
Practice, practice, practice. Abrahams emphasizes that the only way to improve our spontaneous speaking skills is to practice them regularly and deliberately. He suggests that we seek out opportunities to speak on the spot, such as volunteering for Q&A sessions, joining Toastmasters clubs, or participating in online forums. He also recommends that we record and review our performances, and that we solicit feedback from others to identify our strengths and areas for improvement. NNL.
